and sometimes planes they smash up in the sky

fatalhips @ 2006-01-30T13:52:00

2006-01-30T21:53:01Z

car crash

fatalhips @ 2005-11-10T22:04:00

2005-11-11T06:04:56Z

i am always overexposing

because kelley made me

2005-11-05T06:28:28Z

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
~~3) I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.~~
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
~~8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.~~

fatalhips @ 2005-10-04T14:54:00

2005-10-04T22:56:37Z

i would like to add that HALEY is coming back in LESS THAN a week. dibs on all of her time.

fatalhips @ 2005-07-05T16:02:00

2005-07-05T23:02:54Z

my edges are blurred
and that's how i live now

fatalhips @ 2005-06-07T16:42:00

2005-06-08T00:42:54Z


johnny cash is love

fatalhips @ 2005-05-24T11:45:00

2005-05-24T19:48:27Z

this business of being mean to people you used to love exhausts me. people weren't meant to live that way. i keep having dreams about white moths that follow me when i leave the house and make no noise and land on my lips when i try to talk. anyhow, i think that's explanation enough of the sort of life i'm leading.

fatalhips @ 2005-05-23T12:32:00

2005-05-23T20:36:21Z

it always surprises me that they can make cross sections of something as indefinite as a heart. also that no one knows i have knots in my shoulders and the muscle connecting my jaw to my skull. other than that, things are moving, as they always are. towards summer and loss and loose skin.

fatalhips @ 2005-05-18T09:51:00

2005-05-18T16:52:14Z

there is a high price to loving the faithless

fatalhips @ 2005-05-03T17:26:00

2005-05-04T01:31:51Z

so, my dog sneezes with conviction while i hide behind elbows and arms. other than that, we're practically the same. all abandonment issues and high anxiety.

fatalhips @ 2005-04-30T11:10:00

2005-04-30T18:13:17Z

talking the secret language of cars- your headlights in my mirrior for miles.

fatalhips @ 2005-04-22T13:29:00

2005-04-22T20:33:49Z

i'm trying not to mourn. trying not to hold my breath while i wait for summer and long, light feeling limbs. last summer my legs never touched, even when i was sleeping. i'm afraid this summer won't bring that. i'm in that mindset where i'm sure i could be beautiful if my eyes just slanted a little more, if my hair touched my waist instead of my shoulders.

fatalhips @ 2005-04-04T10:53:00

2005-04-04T17:55:04Z

we have all killed and been killed so at this moment i forgive everything, forget nothing, and smile so hard it hurts my back teeth. i also: drive recklessly, kiss my own knees (not elbows), and take two sleeping pills/night. work is wonderful. life, decent.

fatalhips @ 2005-03-03T10:49:00

2005-03-03T18:56:03Z

by the way have i told you i’m angry that no one writes about my inconsequential little habits, the ones i don’t even notice but someone should love. no one reminds me to go to the doctor when i’ve been sick.

fatalhips @ 2005-02-26T23:16:00

2005-02-27T07:18:09Z

we:
are so constantly stirring. we shudder and compress and move away and move simultaneously. i said i was worried and he said something heartbreaking like: “i love you.”

fatalhips @ 2005-02-24T23:57:00

2005-02-25T08:00:47Z

i have been casually avoiding my bed. falling asleep on the couch with the tv on and the dog snoring from under the stairs. lately i've been telling myself secrets like the reason i drive with the window down is because the wind in my hair feels like his fingers. recently i'm so afraid that i'm not memorable.

fatalhips @ 2005-02-22T00:29:00

2005-02-22T08:29:36Z

he is so casual about the state of my heart
he is so casual about the state of my heart
he is so casual about the state of my heart
he is so casual about the state of my heart

fatalhips @ 2005-02-14T11:35:00

2005-02-14T19:36:15Z

don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
the sky won't snow and the sun won't shine

fatalhips @ 2005-02-12T23:10:00

2005-02-13T07:24:29Z

i have been keeping my mouth neatly shut, and apparently this makes people love you more. i have been sleeping with my legs folded efficiently, the knees digging rigidly at each other. he says i am getting sharp again. i say nothing.

fatalhips @ 2005-02-08T23:15:00

2005-02-09T07:28:02Z

today, by various boys, i was offered shots, cigarettes and unsolicited advice. also a good reason to move away. i was not offered very much love, a phone call, or a ride in a fast red car. somewhere along the line someone gave me the idea that loving me for very long is a very hard thing to do and i am just believing it more and more these days.

maybe loving me will never be measured in years.

(except for you, haley.)

fatalhips @ 2005-02-07T21:56:00

2005-02-08T06:01:21Z

my dad is listening to the kind of music that just builds up and up and up until you feel something start to explode in your chest. however he says i will be fine as long as i keep things in order. he doesn't say speciffically how i should do this. he doesn't say what to do when people may or may not stop loving you. he doesn't let me drive home at night, apparently he thinks that's the most dangerous situation at hand.

fatalhips @ 2005-02-06T23:25:00

2005-02-07T07:27:28Z

you love me because:
a)i cry whenever i finish a book
b)blythes, diet coke and flat faced cats
or
c)even though i tend to breath loudly into the phone

fatalhips @ 2005-02-05T01:11:00

2005-02-05T09:30:22Z

it's the fact that i've been collecting lately, collecting sheets and silverwear and recipies. i've learned to run a dishwasher, i've learned to get up when my alarm goes off and to turn the heat down when i leave the house. i've been giving people advice on how to spend their money, and to check for cracked eggs before buying a carton. my mom taught me that. i've even started telling the people i love that i'm leaving. i don't think anyone actually believes me. dad says there is enough of a desert in bend. i don't think he understands. by the end of summer i'll get to somewhere i can breath.

fatalhips @ 2005-02-01T23:57:00

2005-02-02T07:58:04Z

i'm coming.

fatalhips @ 2005-02-01T22:06:00

2005-02-02T06:21:39Z

my sisters homely black kitten does whatever makes her happy, unequivocally and entirely unapologetically.